Library Fine Amnesty

Today is "Read Away Your Fines" day at our library. What a zoo! The concept is that on this one weekend, you can register to read away your library card fines: $2.00 for every 15 minutes you read at the library, up to a maximum of $16.00/two hours. Some of the more amusing questions I was asked:

I don't have any overdue fines but I have charges for lost books. Can I read those away?
No

If I owe $2.50, can I read for 19 minutes instead of 30?
No

If I read for longer than I need to, will you credit my account and waive future fines?
No

If I read for longer than I need to, will you give me the extra money?
No

Can I register for the program and go read at home, then come back?
No

If my brother/mother/friend reads with me, can we read away $32 from my card?
No